Readjusting

Now, I write this from my bedroom, whic has stood empty and full of junk for almost a year, I've recently completed the long process of clearing it and making suitable for human habitation again... A very long job that involved reorganising most of my cupboards, it's nice to have your own space and have something to be responsible for, although it's a big climbdown from what I was doing just under three weeks ago, but already feels like a lifetime ago.

I feel very mixed emotions at being home. It's great to be in a society that I can understand, and more importantly a society that understands me. It's good to be able to understand the language and enjoy the freedoms that we have in this country, it's fantastic to be able to express an opinion freely and talk about politics without having to worry about my words. It's great to benefit from the high technology available to us here and the well built infrastructure. It's good to find most people are not trying to rip you off or mess you about.

Although other things are strange. People are a lot less friendly, starting up a conversation with the fish and chip shop man about one of the paintings on his wall met with a look of utter surprise and an uncomfortable silence. Where before I wouldn't feel strange about going up to random people and talking to them, here I again feel that uncomfortable cultural constriction... we truly are a society that encourages the individual culture with all the benefits and disadvantages that brings.

Another problem I've been experiencing is a feeling of being slightly outside of society. When meeting old friends and new people again. Some are interested in what I've done, and others couldn't care less... That's perfectly normal of course, what ignites one persons passions, may douse someone else's... It's a strange feeling that even the people that are really interested in what you've done can never really understand what it's like to be there and do it. So in a way it's like a private experience that's totally unique to you, someting that you can't really share with others. I imagine it's a similar feeling to what war veterans have, we can all sympathy with their experiences, but can never understand what it's truly like to be there and suffer. It's a feeling that will pass with time, I'm sure.

Another thing I had forgotten is the UK sense of identity, which I had initially thought was quite weak. But upon returning here, one of the first things I noticed was that British culture is incrediblely strong and has reverbrations throughout the whole society. Everything from people's mannerisms and language, to companies and products offered, music, films, cars... It also initially surprised me at seeing how rich everyone is. You notice it particularly as you have been away from it for so long, and spent much time experiencing other country's culture.

One thing I'm sure of, is that I want to travel again, and there are people I want to meet again. There is more volunteer work I want to, in more places, and next time I want to work in a new environment more challenging, where hopefully I can make a big difference. I'm thinking of doing work maybe in HIV clinics in India or China or Africa, or peraps with orphans or something along those lines. Next summer is already feeling exciting, one month's volunteer work followed by more backpacking sounds like a great way of spending the university holidays. But of course, there are many obstacles in the way, such as finances, work and the scariest of all... time.

Time can change everything, for good, for bad. I worry often that something might change at univeristy or cause me to change my plans... I worry that I'll lose contact with the friends I met while I was out travelling... Things are already immeasurably different to when I left. In fact the last year and a half has shown and incredible amount of change. To put this in perspective, February 2007 I was still delivering newspapers as my main job.

I've uploaded a load of photos to flickr, and big wide spread of different stages of my travels... feel free to look through them. I am also working on a video, but it might not be ready for a while.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/28532273@N03/

Enjoy, and it's good to be back... honest.